Can anxiety destroy a relationship?

Anxiety is a familiar presence in the lives of many. It might manifest as an underlying hum, an occasional pang, or a consuming wave that impacts every facet of one’s existence. While anxiety primarily affects the individual, its tentacles often reach out, subtly or overtly influencing interpersonal dynamics, particularly romantic relationships. The question then arises: Can anxiety truly destroy a relationship? Let’s unpack this intricate interplay between anxiety and relationships to understand their correlation.

Understanding Anxiety

Before diving into its impact on relationships, it’s crucial to understand what anxiety is. At its core, anxiety is an emotional and physiological response to perceived threats. While it can be protective, alerting us to genuine dangers, it can become maladaptive when the threats are imagined or magnified, leading to an array of emotional, cognitive, and physical symptoms.

The Direct Impacts of Anxiety on Relationships

Emotional Unavailability: An individual grappling with anxiety might find it challenging to be emotionally present in a relationship. Their preoccupation with anxious thoughts can act as a barrier to genuine connection.

Miscommunication: Anxiety can distort perception and communication. An anxious individual might misconstrue neutral or positive cues as negative, leading to misunderstandings.

Dependence and Clinginess: For some, anxiety manifests as a fear of abandonment or an overwhelming need for reassurance, leading to perceived clinginess.

Withdrawal: Conversely, others might retreat into a shell, attempting to shield their partners from their internal turmoil or avoid potential triggers.

Physical Intimacy Issues: Anxiety, particularly when combined with medications or associated depression, can influence libido and physical intimacy, often a vital aspect of romantic relationships.

The Indirect Ramifications

Reduced Social Activities: An individual with social anxiety might avoid gatherings or outings, limiting a couple’s social interactions.

Financial Strain: Anxiety disorders, especially if they impact one’s ability to work, can introduce financial stress into a relationship.

Role Changes: If one partner’s anxiety is debilitating, the other might have to assume additional responsibilities, leading to potential resentments.

The Partner’s Perspective

Living with or loving someone with anxiety can be challenging. The partner might feel:

Helplessness: Watching a loved one grapple with anxiety, and not knowing how to help can evoke feelings of powerlessness.

Neglect: As the anxious individual battles their demons, the partner might feel sidelined or neglected.

Burnout: Continually supporting an anxious partner, especially without adequate self-care, can lead to burnout and resentment.

Confusion: If unfamiliar with anxiety’s intricacies, the partner might misconstrue symptoms as indifference, moodiness, or insensitivity.

Can Relationships Withstand Anxiety?

While the aforementioned points might paint a grim picture, it’s crucial to remember that relationships, like all dynamic entities, possess resilience. With awareness, understanding, and concerted efforts, many relationships not only withstand the storm of anxiety but emerge stronger. Here’s how:

Open Communication: Dialogue is paramount. Discussing anxiety, its triggers, and manifestations can foster understanding and preempt misunderstandings.

Professional Help: Therapy, both individual and couples’, can equip both partners with tools to navigate anxiety’s challenges.

Education: The non-anxious partner can educate themselves about anxiety disorders, dispelling misconceptions and fostering empathy.

Boundaries and Self-care: While supporting an anxious partner is commendable, it’s vital to establish boundaries and engage in self-care. A relationship comprises two individuals; both their needs are valid.

Mutual Activities: Engaging in joint activities, especially those that alleviate stress like exercise, meditation, or hobbies, can strengthen the bond and offer relief from anxiety’s weight.


So, can anxiety destroy a relationship? The answer is nuanced. While unchecked and misunderstood anxiety can introduce strains and fractures, it doesn’t spell an inevitable doom. Relationships, anchored in mutual respect, understanding, and effort, can navigate the complexities of anxiety.

What’s crucial is recognizing anxiety as a part of the relationship tapestry, not its entirety. Just as one wouldn’t define a relationship solely by its happy moments, one shouldn’t define it only by its challenges. With the right tools, mindset, and support, many couples find that their journey through anxiety, though arduous, deepens their connection and mutual appreciation.

In the broader landscape of human connections, adversity often introduces depth, fostering growth and resilience. While anxiety is undoubtedly a formidable adversary, it also offers couples a unique opportunity: to unite, understand, support, and ultimately, to triumph. It’s a testament to the enduring human spirit and the power of love and commitment.